Mental illness, addiction and full on descent into madness
I originally looked for this ebook on the library site and they didn’t have it. I actually sent them a request to get it because I didn’t want to pay money to buy it. I read a lot, and buy a lot, but for this I just didn’t want to cough up the cash. I got the email saying the library purchased the ebook and a day or so later I found myself home from work, sick in bed, sleeping off and on with this book on my Kindle.
I should back up and preface this by saying this all started on 2/18/18…. My 51st birthday. It was late, I couldn’t sleep (I have fibromyalgia and sleeping is impossible sometimes) and I was scrolling YouTube videos when I came across an interview with Nikki Sixx. It was about an hour long and in it he was talking about the book and insane life. I was in high school in the 80’s and a young adult. I remember all the craziness from those days; it was definitely a decadent time in California history. I was 20 when I heard about Nikki’s death at the Franklin. I was never a big MC fan, but I listened to the music and I knew who he was. I remember thinking ‘huh, sad’. And then the truth of it all came out.
The video made me want to read the book…..
This book is a descent into madness. It almost makes you feel like YOU’RE the heroine addict. And I definitely feel like I need a shower.
It’s more of a mental health manual ….. Of what not to do. I’m not judging the guy. He wouldn’t be who and where he is today without this journey, and I applaud him today for coming out of the other side of this relatively whole and interact with a semblance of sanity. But seriously, this guy was effed up. Big time. Severe Mommy issues, Daddy issues, grandparent issues, absolutely no self esteem, serious anger issues, hell-bent on his own destruction. And using drugs to cover up the pain from all of it.
This IS a mental health book. Second it is a book about addiction. Through the whole thing it’s clear he’s got no barometer, nothing to ground him. He’s walking taking anger and hate. Mostly at himself. Which I get, because after all, I too grew up in the 80s. But this lunatic descended into the very heart of madness.
Walked into Hell, lived there for a while and then walked out….. But not without his demons. Once you hear the demons you can’t unhear them; and they are forever with you. What you can do is choose not to listen. You can choose to not take to hear what they say. They are lies anyway.
I’m glad he put this out. I think anyone who has ever struggled with mental illness, addiction, life issues (and who hasn’t) can find something to relate to in this book. Some more than others. More than anything, this book shows that there IS light at the end of the tunnel. If you want there to be. You have to choose it. Nikki chose a seriously warped path for his life.
And yes at some point in life it becomes a personal choice; you can’t blame people for your life forever. He also chose to (finally) love and forgive himself. His life will never be perfect, no one’s is, but now it seems, according to the book, that he has grounding, and that’s a powerful force.
I wish him well on the rest of his journey. I hope his days are filled with peace and love.
I gave the book 5 stars because it’s a damn good read by someone who lived it. The book is gritty, dirty, and vile. Only those who’ve seen the Devil, I think, will understand it, or at least some part of it. Would I recommend it? Yea, I would. But not to just anyone. Will I buy a copy? Lol sorry Nikki, but no. I have to many other books that are absolute musts for me. I am however very grateful that the library DID pick this up and offer it. It could very well be a lifeline for someone at some point and now this avenue is open to them.
~*Peace*~
- Goodreads rating – 4.12
- SUMMARY – Laurie