Book review
Although the transitions between Rae’s and Ivan’s narratives was a bit abrupt, I eventually fell into the rhythm of their exposition, seeing where their journeys diverged and met. I identify even more strongly with the topics arrayed in this book than even Ivan’s memoirs in Tomboy Survival Guide: the idea that one need not change their body or behaviours to adhere to the behaviours associated with the expectations of the poles of the gender binary; that our gender identity is solely validated by our own convictions, not something to debate based on how many boxes you tick.
I grew particular pensive when they talked about going along with the gender assigned on paper for the sake of traversing spaces like banks, security lines, and places of work more easily. How many times have I rolled my eyes internally when someone harps on the gender they ascribe to be based on their aggregation of my physical expression as if that’s all that I am, joyously decrying “You’re the first FEEEEE-MALE software engineer I’ve personally hired, and there’s another one of you in that cubicle over there!”, where somehow our primary sex characteristics make this miraculous. And with every moment like this, where I have to acquiesce or am outright forced to announce where I reside on the gender binary, how I cringe and just squeeze myself into a palatable packet so that I can just move on to the good stuff, to not make a fuss nor have to justify myself?
So f*ck it, here I stand: I retire from the gender binary. I have long, loud hair, but have also rocked a buzz cut; I enjoy physical activity and being strong; I enjoy knitting and other textile art; I am academically minded and mathematically inclined; I love making delicious food to share with my partner, but also thoroughly enjoy some good old fashioned takeout; I dabble in art and delight in singing; I ADORE bright, loud, bold makeup looks where I experiment with different contouring and colour placement…. None of these activities should have a gendered label to them, and I don’t perform any of these acts because of my physiology. You can call me she or they, but that’s not all that I am.
- Goodreads rating – 4.33
- REVIEW – Wanda