Book review
You know those books that just speak to you? That make you want to jump inside it and live in it and learn more about it and about the characters and about the author? The books that you can’t stop thinking about, even when you sleep, even though you finished reading it three days ago?
For me, that was ‘The Red Tent’ by Anita Diamant.
Told from the perspective of Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob (who had twelve sons/tribes, including his favorite Joseph with the colorful coat and the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical), this book visits the rituals and traditions of ancient womanhood. The title, ‘The Red Tent,’ refers to the tent in which women would congregate during the new moon (and time of menstruation), where they would rest from their labors, talk, and bond. The book talks a lot about the sisterhood that develops during the shared time where no men would enter and women would share secrets and tips on birth, parenting, their labors (spinning wool, weaving, etc.), and other things. It reminded me of women going to lunch in modern society, where they simply talk and bond and swap tips on how to get their babies to sleep or eat or potty-train. The sisterhood aspect of it was so appealing to me, especially since I feel like a lot of that is lost in today’s world.
Oh, and the writing! It was so beautifully written… I found myself wishing that I could talk the way that she writes. It was like reading a song, and I could hear the music in my head.
The parts that spoke to me on a number of levels, though, were the parts about childbirth. Dinah becomes one of the most sought-after midwives in the land, and I found her perspectives on childbirth in ancient times to still be so applicable in today’s world. She talks of herbs and techniques used in childbirth, how midwifery was learned by apprenticeship rather than formal training, and how midwives were the wise women in the land who were sought after for advice and tips on virtually everything, not just labor & delivery. It has various stories about women giving birth, and talks about how women would fiercely bond when one would be ‘on the bricks,’ or in labor, and how they would encourage one another and welcome women into the world of motherhood with rituals and traditions. I loved it. I sometimes wish we would celebrate the passage into motherhood with a little more fanfare and spiritual celebration than we typically do.
Here are some passages from the book that particularly spoke to me:
When speaking of giving birth for the first time:
‘Why had no one told me that my body would become a battlefield, a sacrifice, a test? Why did I not know that birth is the pinnacle where women discover the courage to become mothers? But of course, there is no way to tell this or to hear it. Until you are the woman on the bricks, you have no idea how death stands in the corner, ready to play his part. Until you are the woman on the bricks, you do not know the power that rises from other women – even strangers speaking an unknown tongue, invoking the names of unfamiliar goddesses.’
A song sung to women in labor by the other women (sisters, mothers, cousins, etc.) in the room to encourage and support her:
‘Fear not, the time is coming
Fear not, your bones are strong
Fear not, help is nearby
Fear not, Gula [the goddess of birth:] is near
Fear not, the baby is at the door
Fear not, he will live to bring you honor
Fear not, the hands of the midwife are clever
Fear not, the earth is beneath you
Fear not, we have water and salt
Fear not, little mother
Fear not, mother of us all.’
In regards to seeing one’s own baby for the first time:
‘Just as there is no warning for childbirth, there is no preparation for the sight of a first child. I studied his face, fingers, the folds in his boneless little legs, the whorls of his ears, the tiny nipples on his chest. I held my breath as he sighed, laughed when he yawned, wondered at his grasp on my thumb. I could not get my fill of looking.
There should be a song for women to sing at this moment, or a prayer to recite. But perhaps there is none because there are no words strong enough to name that moment. Like every mother since the first mother, I was overcome and bereft, exalted and ravaged. I had crossed over from girlhood. I beheld myself as an infant in my mother’s arms, and caught a glimpse of my own death. I wept without knowing whether I rejoiced or mourned. My mothers and their mothers were with me as I held my baby.’
Ah!!!!!! You see?? How does she put my exact thoughts into such poetic words?! I feel like such an awkward buffoon in trying to give this book justice.
I know, gush, gush, gush. I realize that I have set the bar so high for this book that now anybody who reads it will inevitably disappointed. So here are some things that I didn’t like as much.
– It’s historical fiction. So while it is based upon a Biblical story, the rest came out of the author’s head. I know she did a lot of research into Biblical times, customs, traditions, etc., so I think it’s more than made-up, but it’s still conjecture at best. This might mess me up whenever I read the Biblical story of Jacob, though, because I will probably place the Bible within this book’s context. Which I probably shouldn’t. Anyways.
– There apparently is some hoopla about this book being ‘anti-man.’ I have heard more than one person say that it has an angry feminist agenda and that all of the men in the book are portrayed as evil, mean, awful people. I must have missed that part. I agree that some of the men are portrayed negatively, but so are some of the women. And some of the men are portrayed rather positively, as are some of the women. It seemed like people were judged based upon their actions within the book, not based upon their gender. So I don’t think it was anti-man at all… I thought it was set in Biblical (and admittedly misogynistic) times, but I don’t think she dwelt upon that at all. She merely set it as ‘this is the framework these characters are operating under’ and then continued to delve into the customs and traditions of women in that time. Perhaps I was too enraptured by all of the beautiful birth stuff, but I completely and totally missed any angry man-hating stuff in this book.
– There is a lot of sex. But I didn’t think it was vulgar or explicit. I felt like the sexual relationships between men and women were talked about respectfully and that they were important to the plot of the book, which explored the sexual nature of women with menstruation, ‘coupling’ (aka sex), and childbearing. It wasn’t gratuitous or vulgar at all (I actually found it to be quite appropriate), but I realize not everybody wants to read about that.
All in all, though, I loved it. I recommend it to any woman, particularly those in their childbearing years, and most particularly to anybody interested in childbirth and midwifery.
- Goodreads rating – 4.19
- FEEDBACK – Liz